The Grimm War
by E.J.Rylee
Summary: Sabrina and Puck are fed up with each other, so they've declared an all-out prank war! Who will surrender first and declare eternal stinkpot-iness? This is my first fan fiction, so please comment :
1. Prologue

Puck and Sabrina Fan Fiction—The Grimm War

(Occurs sometime between book five [when they travel to the future] and book six [Canis's trial].

Although Daphne has her own bedroom...nah, I won't explain that. Too much work. Just deal with it.)

_Prologue_

_Hundreds and hundreds of the livid creatures surrounded Sabrina and Puck, their glowing eyes reddening with fury. They howled and screeched, throwing their arms in the air and pounding their hairy chests. Not one of them seemed too happy about the current situation._

"_All right! Let's just be calm about this…" Puck began, addressing the crowd._

"_Calm!" Sabrina roared. "This is not a calm situation! There's nothing calm about it! Look!" She shook Puck's shoulder furiously and pointed at the growing army of angry creatures. "Do they look calm to you?"_

"_You need to calm down too, Grimm," Puck muttered, stretching out his shoulder. Sabrina threw him an angry look. _

_The roars of the sea of animals drowned out all other sounds. In their wrath they had begun picking up rocks and sticks and other various throwable objects and launching them at the two children. Puck pulled out his wooden sword and tried to bat them away, but they were still being hit. A rock smacked against Sabrina's forehead, and when she went to touch it, it stung. She took her fingers away. _

_Blood._

_One of the creatures pulled out a shiny green object. It held it in the air._

_The others immediately silenced. Then suddenly, like a wave crashing against the shore, they all began to scream, throwing their arms at the two._

_The green thing sailed past them and exploded not too far away. A tree burst into flames. In a matter of seconds, it was devoured by the fire, which had already spread to more trees in the forest._

"_Hey!" Puck yelped. "No grenades!"_

_They couldn't hear him over their furious screeching. _

"_Can't you just fly us out of here?" Sabrina yelled._

_Puck shook his head. "The fire'll spread to the top branches before I get a chance to fly out!"_

"_Aren't you fast enough to get us out before it spreads?"_

"_Not when I'm carrying you, tubby."_

_Sabrina ignored the comment. She stared out at the creatures, whose rage was now beyond control._

"_They're going to kill us," she whispered._

"_I'm too young to die!" Puck cried._


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter One

FOUR DAYS EARLIER

"Prepare to die!" Sabrina wailed.

She emerged from her room covered in snails. They slowly crept their way up and down her arms, her face, her neck, and anything else that was exposed. While storming her way down the hall she was occasionally flicking them off. They would hit the wall with a smack, then continue slithering on as if nothing had happened.

"Do you hear me, Puck?" she cried. "I'm coming for you!"

She approached the fairy boy's bedroom door and began pounding on it wrathfully. The door opened and Sabrina let her fist fly.

It contacted with Puck's shoulder. He stood there, shocked for a second.

Sabrina pushed her sleeve up her arm. She readied her other fist, hoping to inflict further damage.

"I…HATE…SNAILS!" She roared as she took another swing.

"Look who's not a morning person," Puck smirked. His pink insect wings sprouted out of his back with a pop.

"Oh, no you don't!" Sabrina cried, but it was too late. Her furious fists were out of reach when Puck was in the air. She stood there for a while, then a slow smile crept up her face.

Sabrina peeled one of the many snails off her arm and launched it at Puck. The boy gave a high-pitched squeal when it stuck to him and began swatting at it, trying to get it off. "Please! Mercy! Mercy!" he yelped.

She flicked another off her face, and it fell into her hand. "Maybe you should think about that…" she let the snail fly. "…_before_ you play a trick on me!"

The second slug landed on Puck's foot. He began flailing his leg around in a desperate attempt to remove it. He took his sword and began to hit anywhere he could around the snail. It eventually fell off, but Puck was now grasping his leg in pain.

"I swear I will get you for this!" Puck wailed.

"You had it coming!" Sabrina yelled, pointing at him. He flinched when her hand flew into the air.

"Yeah?"

"You're always playing tricks on me! You deserve to be punished!"

"Well, you deserve it too, stinkpot. You're beating me up every chance you get!"

"You're perfectly capable of defending yourself! That is, unless a _girl_ is too much for you to handle."

The two stood, facing each other. If hatred could be smelled, anyone besides them would've choked on it.

"Fine then!" Puck screamed after a while. "This is war!"

"Whatever!" Sabrina retorted. "I'm all for it!"

"War, Sabrina Grimm! Prepare to be out-pranked by the greatly feared, terrifyingly ferocious Trickster King! Ruler of the outlawed and wanted, hero of the sneaky and devious, leader of all things—"

Sabrina slammed the door in his face.

"I'm telling you, old lady," Puck said. "She doesn't show me any respect! I mean, I'm a king! A king deserves respect."

Granny Relda nodded.

"So did Sabrina tell you what I did? I declared war on her! One on one. A Prank war! We'll see who's better now, won't we? Don't worry, old lady, I won't do anything too destructive. Did Sabrina tell you about it yet?"

Granny Relda shrugged.

"I beg she's off crying in her room, realizing she's gone too far this time," Puck snickered.

"Sabrina, are you crying?" Daphne said when she opened the door to her sister's room.

"No," Sabrina said, wiping away the stray tears. "I just hate snails. And Puck. They're like onions—so awful you can't help but cry."

Daphne gave her a sympathetic look and walked across the room, opening the top drawer of Sabrina's dresser. She pulled out a brush.

"Sabrina, are you really going to war with him?" she said while grabbing a chunk of her sister's hair.

She nodded. "Don't you go to war with the people you hate?" she said.

Daphne giggled. "Your hair smells like the snail-stuffed omelette Granny's cooking for lunch."

Sabrina groaned. "More snails?"

"More snails?" Puck cried. He clapped his hands together. "Oh, Grimm's gonna barf! You just made my day."

Granny Relda nodded, then frowned.

"And I've decided—this war isn't gonna to start until tomorrow. I'm gonna to be gracious to her…you know, give her some extra time to think about it, maybe come up with a plan? She needs it." He snickered. "It'd probably take her a whole year to come up with something I hardly give a thought to."

Granny Relda nodded.

"And she could surrender too, you know? If she came down here and declared her stinkpot-iness to the rest of the family I would let her go free—no war, no afterprank, no nothing."

Granny Relda nodded.

Puck stood in silence for a second, then his face curled up in horror. "Hey, I sound like I'm being kind to Grimm! Gross!"

Granny Relda smiled.

"You know, I like talking to you, old lady. You don't say much."

Granny Relda just nodded.

"So, when's lunch? I'm looking forward to it!"

"I am so not looking forward to lunch," Sabrina moaned.

Daphne stopped brushing and got up. She stood on the floor, facing her sister.

"Sabrina, I need to have a talk with you."

She faced her, a little shocked. The girl had never sounded so forceful before.

"You can't go to war. You just can't." Daphne was on the brink of tears. "You and Puck love each other too much to fight!"

Sabrina sat in silence for a second, then burst out laughing. "Me? Him? Love? What, are you crazy?"

"Sabrina…"

"How many times do I have to tell you all! I don't love him! I hate him!" Sabrina yelled, a little too loudly.

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah."

Daphne shifted. "Well, I happen to know for a fact that you two love each other."

Sabrina chuckled. "And what evidence do you have to prove that theory?"

"I don't know what evi…evidi..."

"Evidence."

Daphne scowled. "That is, but I do know…about the kiss."

Sabrina stopped chuckling and stared at her little sister. The girl had full seriousness in her face. For a second, she looked like the future Daphne, drained of joy and happiness, but Sabrina still caught a hint of amusement in her eyes.

"Sergeant Sullivan is my best friend," she stated matter-of-factly.

Sabrina felt her face go red. She had heard that name before.

"S…Sullivan?"

"Leader of the Pyromaniac Chimpanzee Corps. He tells me everything." Daphne grinned mischievously.

"_Everything," _she repeated, wiggling her eyebrows up and down.

"Snoop," Sabrina muttered. She could feel her face growing hot.

Daphne giggled. "Promise to call the war off?"

Her sister nodded.

"All you have to do is go downstairs and tell Puck that you're a lousy stinkpot," she said.

"What!" Sabrina roared. "I would never do that!"

"Not for l-o-v-e?" Daphne cooed.

"Not for anything, much less love!"

Daphne's smile disappeared. She glared at her sister. "Well, fine then!" she yelled in Sabrina's face. "Puck didn't listen to me either! I guess I'm just going to have to prove it to you both!" she yelled as she stormed out of the room.

There was silence for a while. Sabrina sat on her bed, stunned. Daphne had never yelled at her before.

"I hope you choke on your snail-stuffed omelette!" Daphne cried from down the hallway.

A few hours later, a knock came from behind Sabrina's door. She opened it, and Puck slugged her in the arm.

"Ow!" she cried, recovering just in time to slug him in the gut.

He doubled over, clutching his stomach. "Waiting…for you…in family car…" he groaned.

She smiled. "Thank you, Puck, you're such a dear," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Aren't you gonna…help me up?" he moaned. He was curled up into a ball, lying at Sabrina's feet.

"Not until you tell me how much of a stinkpot you are," Sabrina snarled.

The fairy boy whimpered.

Sabrina climbed into the car next to Daphne. The little girl inched away from her when she came near her. She had her arms crossed, and she was glaring at the seat in front of her.

"Buckle in, children," Mr. Canis ordered.

"Daphne? Are you alright?" she asked.

She shook her head. "I don't want to talk to you right now," Daphne said, her voice monotone.

Sabrina stared at her. She wondered if this had something to do with proving her love for Puck. She shook her head. There was nothing for the girl to prove. She would learn that soon enough. This silent treatment wouldn't last too long.

A thud sounded from the roof, and Sabrina knew that Puck had arrived. Mr. Canis revved the engine.

"We're going to see about the new case," Granny Relda yelled over the rumbling. Every inch of the car was shaking. Daphne looked likes she was turning green, and Sabrina was glad she hadn't touched the omelettes.

"I know," Sabrina shouted.

"Nobody has ever done that before!" Granny Relda shrieked.

"Only with peas!" Daphne giggled.

"That's not good for your nose," Mr. Canis commented.

Sabrina groaned.

They drove around the house, jerked to a stop, and Mr. Canis turned off the engine.

"That's it?" Sabrina asked.

Granny Relda nodded.

"We could've walked!"

Sabrina, Daphne, Mr. Canis and Granny Relda piled out of the car. Puck was still sitting on the roof.

"Move," Mr. Canis growled. "I am going to meditate now."

The fairy boy groaned but reluctantly released his claim on the roof.

"Recently, people have been causing trouble around our house," Granny Relda said, walking over to what appeared to be charred remains of something. "They're burning down the trees in the forest. We need those trees for privacy against Nottingham and Mayor Heart."

"They're our prime suspects, then," Sabrina said.

"Innocent until proven guilty, dear one," Granny Relda replied.

"Burning the trees?" Puck said. "My minions never detected anything."

"That's because this is something your pixies don't consider a threat."

Mr. Canis rejoined the group. Daphne looked up at Granny Relda, confused. "Then how do we figure out what it is?"

"Well," the old woman replied, "We do what we always do—research. I'll look through the Hall of Wonders for any sort of masking potions that could've been used while you two search through the stories and journals for something that could be of value."

Mr. Canis cleared his throat. "We have Charming's three-day fundraising event to go to, remember?" he grunted, trying to remain quiet so the girls couldn't hear.

Daphne squealed. "Did you invite Granny to go with you?"

Mr. Canis coughed. "It's…fundraising," he declared.

Sabrina smiled. "Don't worry. This case doesn't appear to be too much of a threat. I think we can handle it by ourselves."

"Why, Sabrina! How kind of you."

"Well, you've been briefed," Mr. Canis said. "Back in the car."

"No thanks," Sabrina said."I'll walk."

That night, Daphne was helping Granny Relda pick out a dress. Mr. Canis always wore a suit and tie, so he didn't need much help finding something to wear. Sabrina could hear occasional squeals of delight from Daphne, and it made her smile. She was glad for her sister to get her mind off of the argument they'd had earlier. Maybe she would lighten up a bit and help Sabrina think of a prank.

She paced back and forth in her room. She opened drawers, took stuff out from her closet, and dug around under her bed. She was looking for anything—anything at all—that would give her an idea of a good prank to play on Puck. She was drawing a blank.

"This is a first," she muttered.

"Sabrina!" she heard. "We're leaving!"

She left her room and walked down the stairs. She was met first by Granny Relda, who was in a black dress with purple polka dots on it. A small, fresh daisy was sticking out of her tightly woven grey bun. Sabrina guessed that Daphne had suggested that. She looked over at Mr. Canis, who was stiff as ever. Though, there did seem to be a hint of anticipation in the old man's watery blue eyes.

"While I'm gone, Puck is in charge," Granny Relda said.

Sabrina's mouth flew open in shock. "Puck?" she gasped. "He's incapable! He can't do it!"

"Why not?" Canis growled.

"Because…because he can't!" she fumed.

Daphne tapped on Granny Relda's shoulder. "What does 'incapable' mean?"

"That he's acting like Puck," the old lady replied.

Sabrina exploded. "Exactly!"

Granny Relda chuckled. "I trust you will be working on the case hard while we're gone, right, Sabrina?"

Realizing that the conversation could never be won, she nodded and surrendered, arms crossed.

"Well, so long," Granny Relda said, waving. Mr. Canis closed the door with a slam.

"I'm so excited!" Daphne cried, biting down hard on the palm of her hand.

Sabrina turned to face her sister. "Hey, do you think you could help me with something?"

"If this is about your mucho lame-o war, then no, I can't," Daphne mumbled, still biting.

"But…but Daphne! I can't think of anything! Puck's going to kick my butt, and you're letting him!" she cried.

Daphne sighed and removed her hand from her mouth. "You've had it coming for a long, long time," she replied. "Besides, he is in charge. He can do whatever he wants. I have no say."

She turned around and walked up to her room. Sabrina groaned and pulled at a strand of hair. It ripped out of her head.

Sabrina sat on her bed, arms crossed, silently lecturing herself. How could she let Granny Relda leave? She should've known she'd leave Puck in charge. He wouldn't let her get away with anything while he was around. Sabrina thought back on all the things she had done when she thought Granny Relda didn't know. Most of the time, Puck was the one who stopped her. Maybe she was smart to place him in charge, even if he was a toad. At times, he could be the sanest of the group.

Realizing what she just thought, Sabrina shuddered. Puck? The sanest? Who was she kidding? The boy had the mental abilities of a cantaloupe.

Why did this have to happen right in the middle of war?

Someone knocked on the door, disrupting her thoughts.

"What?" she growled.

"Just making sure you're in your room," a voice replied.

"Puck," she groaned.

The door opened, and the fairy beamed at her. "Guess what?" he said. "I've put a whole troop of mini clones designed to act like me in the hallway. To prevent any pranks from occurring _before_ they're supposed to, I've set them up to guard my room. I've told them that they can do what they want to prisoners." He said the word prisoners like a dog would say the word 'cat.'

"You're such a pain, Puck," Sabrina groaned.

"Aww, Grimm! How sweet! That's probably the nicest thing you've ever said to me," he sneered, giving her a mock smile.

"I'm so tempted to punch you right now."

"Yes, but if you do…"

"You'll send one of your freaks to attack me?"

Puck nodded. "They're not freaks. They're just like me!" he said.

"If they're 'just like you', then they were born freaks," Sabrina muttered, getting up to slam the door in his face.

She sat back down on her bed and let her mind wander again. "Now there's little Pucks running around?" she muttered to herself. "We're all doomed."

She stared at her closet, mind blank. She shouldn't even bother planning any tricks now. Puck said his clones would attack her (if they acted like him, she was sure they would) so any plots she may have come up with were foiled now.

A soft breeze hit Sabrina from her bedroom window. She went to shut it, but before she could, the wind slammed her closet door shut with a bang, and she jumped. She heard the boxes and books inside it fall and hit the walls, and she groaned. Great. All she needed was something more to clean up.

Sabrina walked over and opened the door. A box fell out and hit her on the head. She muttered and rubbed the sore spot, then stooped down to pick it up. She noticed it had writing on it.

She recognized the words. This was the gift (if you could call it that) Puck gave her on her birthday.

She opened it up. Sure enough, there was the basketball, the glue, and the note. She read the note a couple of times, then tore it up and threw it away.

"No way he's ever going to do something like that to me and get away with it," she said.

Suddenly, a smile crept up Sabrina's face. It was a mischievous smile, one she only smiled when she was up to something. She looked at the box, then the window, then the box again.

"Bingo," she said.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Puck woke up, yawned and stretched. He smiled to himself, then at his work. Though he shouldn't really call it work. He never even put effort into anything, unless it was involved with a prank. Which this was.

He got up, grabbed his 'work', and exited his room. He noticed the clones in the hallway were snoring. He kicked one down the stairs and watched it wail as it sailed to the bottom step. The others, sensing some sort of commotion, pulled out their wooden swords and 'hi yah-ed!' suddenly alert. One of them was yawning.

Puck frowned. His Puckians weren't even threatening. He hoped Sabrina hadn't done anything while he was sleeping, because these worthless guards wouldn't have noticed.

"You guys can go now," he said, and the little Pucks cheered. They jumped up and flew out the window, laughing and chattering and burping to one another.

Once they were all gone, Puck snuck his way down the hall and into Sabrina's room. The door creaked, and he jumped at the noise. He waited for a few seconds, just to make sure she was still asleep, then fully opened the door.

Sabrina was lying on her side, curled up into a little ball. She had her pillow tucked under her arm, and she was sucking her thumb. Puck stifled a laugh. He should've brought a camera.

He carefully placed his handiwork in the second drawer of Sabrina's dresser, then crept back out of the room.

Once out of Sabrina's hearing range he laughed and flew downstairs. Daphne was sitting at the kitchen table, reading a large, dusty book.

"I did it! I did it, and she didn't even notice!"

Daphne looked up and smiled. "You're so punk rock," she said, giving him thumbs up.

"Did you know she sucks her thumb?"

Daphne's eyes went wide. She decided not to mention the fact that Puck does, too.

"She does? I never noticed. I guess it's was because I always go to sleep before she does. Though I've woken up a few times because her snoring's so loud."

"Uh, Daphne…you're the one who snores," Sabrina said. She was dressed in a long sleeved red t-shirt and green cargo pants. She looked at Puck and seemed to stifle a laugh.

"Well, what'd the old lady leave for breakfast?" Puck said, wondering about Sabrina's reaction when she saw him. He dug around in the refrigerator, looking for something to eat.

"Should say on that note Granny left on the freezer door," Sabrina said, sitting down.

A long, squeaky fart emanated from Sabrina's side of the room.

Puck and Daphne burst out laughing. Sabrina turned red, then checked her seat. There wasn't anything there. Had she really done that?

She sat down again, and another went off. Daphne was laughing so hard that tears were spilling out of her eyes. Puck was hitting the countertop with so much force that Sabrina was sure it was going to break.

"It's not funny!" she yelled as she ran upstairs.

Silence for a while. The two slowly began to calm down from their laughing fits. Daphne was dabbing at her eyes with a tissue.

"To my pants!" Sabrina wailed from upstairs. "You sewed the whoopee cushion to my pants!"

Daphne was wheezing. "High five," she panted.

The two hit hands and Puck relaxed against the chair. "Oh, man, that was awesome!" he said, out of breath. "I'm just glad I got to her before she got to me. I'm so punk rock, huh, Daphne?"

Daphne let out an amused chuckle.

"My sister's sneakier than you think, Puck."

He stood up, confused.

"Just check your room. You'll see soon enough."

He walked back to his room and jiggled the door handle a couple of times, making sure she hadn't infiltrated his security. The alarm still went off, and Puck knew she hadn't. He disarmed it and walked around his paradise. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary.

He noticed a post-it was stuck to his trampoline. Next to lay a small, green compact mirror. He peeled the note off and read it.

"It came when you least expected it," he read aloud.

"Expected what?" Puck muttered.

He looked at the mirror and gasped.

A basketball was stuck to the top of his head.

"She didn't…she didn't…" he said.

He pulled at it. His hair went with the basketball. Stuck between the two were globs of sticky, dried white glue.

"I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, GRIMM!" Puck bellowed.

Several hours (and fights) later, Puck, Sabrina and Daphne were outside. Puck had cut off all the hair on the top of his head, removing the basketball. His new do faintly reminded Sabrina of a toilet seat.

"So, what new evidence do we have?" she asked, ignoring Puck, who was glaring at her.

Daphne pointed at the ground. "See these? Footprints. That means they can't fly."

"Yeah, but then how did they get past my pixies?"

Daphne rubbed her chin. "I'm guessing…maybe it was somebody the pixies knew?"

"But all the other fairies are back in New York," Sabrina commented.

"I don't have time for this," Puck said. "I need to get back to my prank."

"But it burned down another tree last night!" Daphne whined. "Doesn't that matter more than your stupid war?"

"Nothing matters more than this war," Sabrina and Puck said simultaneously. They stared at each other for a second, then stuck their tongues out.

"The world is overheating! And you guys don't care!"

Sabrina stared at the girl. "What does trees burning to the ground have to do with Global Warming?"

"I don't know…but it does!"

Sabrina rolled her eyes, and she and Puck stomped back to the house.

Daphne looked at the footprints, then at the tree, then at the two, who were walking away. How could they be so careless?

She turned to the forest. She hoped the culprit was listening.

"You're killing trees, you know!" she cried. "I hope you get a paper cut!"

"Argh," Sabrina muttered. She sucked on her finger. "Paper cut."

Sabrina had remained locked in her room since she had last been outside with Daphne. She knew Puck couldn't do anything to her as long as she was there. It was like a safe zone.

Her stomach grumbled for the thousandth time. She clutched it, hoping to quiet it down.

She wasn't going to be able to stand it anymore. Hours of waiting with no food did horrible things to a person's digestive system. Her stomach was going to declare mutiny.

Reluctantly, she gave into her stomach's cries and snuck downstairs to the kitchen. Something in the corner of the room stirred, and Sabrina jumped.

The thing whimpered. "Oh, it's just you, Elvis," Sabrina said. She patted the dog on the head.

Reaching into the refrigerator, she grabbed what looked like jello and wolfed it down. Then she gagged.

It tasted like spinach, turkey and cranberries, even though it had a clear blue color.

She glanced at the Tupperware that held the food (if it could be called that) while washing down the taste with a glass of water. It read: Gelatin Form of 1999 Thanksgiving Dinner.

Her upper lip curled in disgust. Ick.

She heard someone thumping down the stairs. Instinct told her it was Puck, and she began looking around wildly, scanning the room, trying to find an appropriate place to hide. She dove behind Elvis just as the person rounded the corner.

Daphne stumbled into the room, holding a large, leather-bound hardback book. She went over to the counter and set the book down, then poured herself a cup of coffee. She drank it all in one gulp, then let out a long, satisfied burp.

"Daphne?" Sabrina said, emerging from behind Elvis.

The little girl jumped. In the light, she could see that her braids were ratty, like she had been running her fingers through them while they were still tied.

"What?" she gurgled. There were giant red bags under her eyes.

Sabrina stared at her. "Are you okay?"

"Does it look like I'm okay?"

Sabrina shook her head. Daphne was still mad at her.

"Then don't ask."

Daphne sat down at the table and collapsed, head resting on her arms. Within a matter of seconds the little girl was snoring.

Sabrina glanced at the book. It was one she hadn't seen before. She flipped to the first page.

_In hiding oneself, _it said, _one must first become unrecognizable. Dark clothing and makeup help with this. Next, one should hide one's scent. The best way to do this is to mask the smell by swimming or soaking in water…_

Sabrina's head jerked up. Water! Daphne was a genius!

But…there wasn't a lake nearby the house. It was a dead end.

Had Daphne been up all night, reading from that book, trying to find something? Sabrina realized that neither she nor Puck had been much help. Daphne must've known she'd be doing most of the work alone, because of their declaration of war.

Sabrina walked over and smoothed the little girl's hair.

"I'd like to help, Daphne," Sabrina whispered. "But I have to beat Puck. I just have to."

Daphne stirred, and gave a loud snort.

"Stob…snorin', 'Brina," she mumbled. " You're…too loud."

Sabrina chuckled and headed off to her room.

"Where's my room!" Sabrina cried.

She announced this right after she smacked into the wall. She wondered why it had hurt so much; she realized that it was the twinges of magic that stung, not the impact. She felt around, trying to see if Puck had just used magic paint or something and disguised it, but no, it was gone. Room, door, doorknob, even the 'danger: keep out' sign had disappeared. She stormed over to Puck's room and banged on the door.

"What do you want?" yelled Puck from the other side.

"Where did you put my room, pusbrain?"

A whimper emitted from the door. "Aw. I was hoping you were in it."

"What did you do to my room?"

"Nothing."

"Don't play innocent, you thief! Where is it?"

Puck sighed. "Mirror has it."

"He what?" Sabrina cried.

"Your new, fully compactable room is now in Mirror's glorious Hall of Wonders."

"Puck I swear I'll get you for this!" Sabrina threatened.

"Yawn, Grimm. I've heard that line too many times. Can't you come up with something a little more original? Or at least fulfill your original swear?"

Sabrina kicked the door and stormed down the hall to Mirror's room. She shook the doorknob a couple of times. It was locked.

She lifted her leg up and smashed it against the door with all the strength she had. It came crashing down, smashing flat against the floor.

"WHO DARES TO BREAK DOWN MY DOOR AT…oh, it's you, Sabrina. I should've known by the dramatic entry," Mirror said.

"You're one to talk." Sabrina muttered. "Where's my room?"

Mirror held out his hand for her, and she took it. The glass surface rippled a little as she passed through, like irritated water, then settled.

"Okay, which of these rooms is it?"

"Not any. Here you go, Starfish."

He handed her a little wooden cube no bigger than her fist. She shook it lightly, and heard several boxes inside fall to the 'ground.' A miniature version of her sign fluttered to the ground. She picked it up and examined it, mouth open in shock.

It was her room, all right.

"How…?" she whispered.

"I'm assuming Puck infiltrated my security while I was…occupied…and got a hold of some 'Drink Me' boxes. He misted the room with them and…poof! Here it is."

Sabrina stared at the room, shocked. "Can't you do anything about it?"

"Afraid not. Rooms don't eat cookies," he said.

Sabrina wailed.

"Unless you want to shrink yourself. Then you'd fit."

Sabrina shook her head. "Puck'd probably step on me. Or put me in a cage. He'd forget to feed me."

"Don't worry, dear. Puck said to tell you that if you didn't have a place to stay, he'd gladly…"

"No way I'm surrendering to that no-good fairy boy! He'll have to beg me to submit to him!" she cried, storming out of the room. She turned the corner and—smack!—ran into Puck.

The fairy boy snickered. "Sabrina, I think we need to get your vision checked."

She stomped on his foot. "You destroyed my room, fuzzball!" she shrieked.

Puck flew in the air, holding his foot. "Of course I did. Who else would be so genius?"

Sabrina swung at him. He flew up to avoid it and smacked into the ceiling.

"Ouch!" he cried, rubbing his head. He glared down at Sabrina. "Seriously, Grimm. You've been hiding in there all day. It wasn't a fair battle strategy. I just had to destroy your fort if I ever wanted to win this war."

"You…you cheater!"

Puck smiled. "That's me!"

"I hope you die in a hole!"

He grinned. "Can't."

Sabrina snarled and stomped down the stairs, furious. She could hear Puck's creepy giggle disappear into his room.

Daphne was still sleeping at the table—Sabrina could tell because she heard the girl's snores from halfway up the stairs. She picked up the only spare blanket with a sigh and draped it over her. The girl mumbled something unintelligible and sank into the warmness of the quilt.

Sabrina plopped down on the couch. She stretched for a while, then relaxed, letting herself sink into the scratchy cushions. She sighed. Only two more days to go, and Granny Relda would return, and this chaos would end.

She heard Daphne's snoring only a few seconds more before she was fast asleep herself.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

"Hey, Daphne. Wake up," Sabrina said.

"Wazzmattawidalladashakin?" mumbled Daphne.

Sabrina smiled. "You have to make breakfast. It's your turn."

"Go call Puck antellim…I'll…bewaidin..fuh…" she began snoring again.

Sabrina rolled her eyes and walked down to the laundry area. Grabbing a big, white plastic bin, she walked up the stairs and to the bedrooms.

Daphne's room was cluttered as ever. Sighing, she picked up any clothes that were on the floor and put them into the basket. Remembering she didn't have a bedroom anymore, she decided to go into Granny Relda's.

Sabrina entered the room and immediately came face-to-face with one of the beady-eyed masks that stared in her direction. Shrieking, she jumped back. The numerous masks cast long, lonely shadows on the walls. The place reminded her very faintly of the old witch Baba Yaga's. Shivering, she gathered the clothes and rushed out of there as fast as she could, not wanting to remain within the sight of the masks.

There was only one place left to go.

Sabrina rapped her knuckles gently against Puck's door. She turned the knob and, to her surprise, it opened. Nobody was there.

"Puck?" she called. "Are you there?"

Nothing.

She swung the door open, and it creaked.

She entered the room and gasped. Dozens upon dozens of the ugliest weeds Sabrina had ever seen were everywhere, stuffed in what looked like handmade mud pie pots. They were long and spindly, and had a sickly green color to them. Sabrina reached out and touched one. It was a little rough, kind of like a dried up leaf.

A chuckling emitted from behind one of the plants. Puck emerged, dressed in his footie pajamas. Sabrina stifled a laugh.

"These are my favorites," Puck said casually, grinning. He poked at one of them with his wooden sword.

"Pretty, huh?"

"What kind of a plant is it?" Sabrina asked. "I've never seen one before."

"That's probably a good thing," Puck replied, chuckling again. "You'll find out soon enough. Here's my laundry. Handle them carefully—they're worn by royalty."

Sabrina groaned. Puck tossed her a bundle of laundry, and she caught it.

"This is it?" she exclaimed. All he had handed her was his ratty old green hoodie and jeans.

"It's all I ever wear," Puck said. Sabrina cringed and immediately pushed them away from her, holding both with only two fingers. She thought that she should probably wash them twice, maybe even disinfect them, just to be safe.

She trudged downstairs, laundry basket in tow. Daphne was still snoring, and she smiled as she entered the laundry room. Sabrina opened the lid to the washing machine and dumped the clothes in. "Worn by royalty," she muttered. "Hah."

Before she had a chance to close it, an idea popped into her head. She pulled out Puck's green hoodie and stared at it. A mischievous grin grew on her face, one she only smiled when she was up to something.

"Bingo," she said.

She left the laundry room. "Daphne?" she called. "Where are the scissors?"

"Huh?" the little girl said, bolting up from where she was.

"Scissors," Sabrina repeated impatiently.

"In the drawer next to the toaster," Daphne replied, yawning.

"Thanks," Sabrina said, grabbing the scissors. She sat at the table and began snipping.

For a while, Daphne's eyes were closed. Then, she peeked on open. When she realized what Sabrina was doing, she sat up and stared at the hoodie. "What are you cutting?" she asked.

"Nothing," Sabrina said with a chuckle. She almost sounded like Puck.

Daphne looked at the garment hard, trying to figure out what it was. "You didn't!" she eventually cried.

"I did," Sabrina laughed, scratching at her hands.

A grin broke across the girl's face. "He's going to be furious with you!" Then she frowned.

"Actually, that's not benefiting my plans."

"What plans?"

"Nothing," Daphne said with a dark chuckle.

Sabrina shrugged, scratched her fingers once more, and continued snipping.

When she was finally done, and there were several scraps of green fabric littering the table, Sabrina held up the jacket, admiring her work. There, cut out in letters on the front, was the word 'STINKPOT.'

She giggled and tossed it in the laundry bin.

...

"My beautifully majestic robe!" Puck cried. He stormed down the stairs. Against his white skin, the word could be clearly seen.

"Murderer!" Puck wailed. "Who did it?"

"It was Sabrina, with the scissors, in the kitchen," Daphne piped. Another thick, leathery book rested in her lap. This one said, 'DIY: How To Create Love When There Is None.'

"You will pay for this!" Puck screamed at Sabrina. His wings popped out of his back in fury. "You will _paaaaay_!"

"Whatever," Sabrina muttered.

Puck hmphed, realizing Sabrina didn't feel at all threatened, and flew up the stairs. He paused for a second, and a smile grew on his face. "And I was even going to share the antidote with you! I can't believe it!" she heard him yell. He laughed and disappeared up the stairs.

"What antidote?" Sabrina yelled. She scratched at her hand, then her arm.

"Maybe you should go ask him about it," Daphne suggested, still buried in her book.

"Puck!" Sabrina called. When she heard no reply, she ran up the stairs and beat on his door.

"Puck!"

He opened the door unexpectedly, and she almost hit him.

"Are you needings something, Grimm?" he asked, somewhat amused. He had changed shirts.

"What antidote?"

He looked directly at her hands. "You're such a dunce."

Sabrina suddenly realized her arms itched again. She saw them and nearly screamed.

They were red. Not just a swollen red, either; they were the color of blood. The red grew in blotches all up her arms, large and puffy. Every one of them itched.

"What's happening to me?" she cried. She scratched at one of the spots.

The fingers she used to scratch it began to itch.

Puck held up one of the many weeds he had earlier in his room. "Where I come from, this plant is known as _Toxicodendron Radicans_. But you may know it better as Ivy. Poison ivy."

Sabrina gasped. Puck chuckled.

"They're beautiful, aren't they?" he commented. "And the things they do for one's skin!" His smile broadened. "You're looking better already."

Sabrina couldn't think of a remark. She couldn't think of anything to say. Puck was mean, rude, arrogant, and selfish. That was all that filled her mind.

That, and she needed the antidote.

She reached for the plant. She grabbed one of the leaves and ripped it off the stem.

"Eat this, dogface!" Sabrina cried. She hit him square in the face with the leaf covering her knuckles.

"No!" Puck screamed. He flew away from her, holding his face. Muttering, he dug around under the boxing ring for a while, eventually grabbing a small pink vial. He popped off the top.

"Give that to me, Puck!" Sabrina threatened. Puck smiled at her mischievously and raised the bottle to his lips. Sabrina noticed that something was crawling up it.

When she realized what it was, she smiled.

Puck tilted back the vial. Before any potion could pour into his mouth, he shrieked.

"Snail!" he cried. He began shaking the potion this way and that.

Sabrina stood directly beneath it. When Puck wasn't paying attention, she jumped up and swatted at his arm. Her fingers just barely caught his sleeve, but it was enough, and he dropped the vial. It fell a few feet, then landed in Sabrina's waiting hands.

She smiled at Puck, who was angry and fuming and reaching desperately for the antidote, and glugged the potion.

Immediately she could feel it take effect. Even as it went down her throat, she could feel it slipping and sliding, like water in a bottle that a kid is shaking. It felt a little slimy, too, but she tried not to think about it. It entered her stomach, and she began to feel tinges of magic in her hands and arms. She looked down at them. The blotches were rapidly disappearing.

She beamed and held up the empty vial, triumphant.

"Hey!" Puck cried. "I needed that, too! And you drank it all, you piggybre—wait a second, where did the snail go? It was on the—" Puck stopped. A horrible expression crossed his face.

Sabrina looked at the bottle, surprised. No snail.

Suddenly, a thought entered her mind. Was that squiggly feeling she felt down her throat the…

Both Sabrina and Puck turned an interesting shade of green. Sabrina just looked seasick. But Puck had blotchy red spots all over his face, so it slightly resembled a Christmas tree. His beautiful, stooge-inspired haircut was the garland.

...

"Puck said he's feeling a little better, so he's agreed to help me with the case, Sabrina. Do you feel like coming?" Daphne asked.

"No," Sabrina moaned. She was still throwing up, even though it was hours after she had swallowed the snail. Even Puck had seemed sympathetic. He had decided to stop pulling pranks on her for the rest of the day, so Sabrina could have a chance to recover. He had even let her stay in his room, covering his trampoline with pillows and blankets. Sabrina found Kraven the Deceiver hidden among them.

"Okay," Daphne said, shrugging. "We'll see you later."

Sabrina nodded, and Daphne left the room.

She was a little suspicious, of course, when Puck began treating her nicely. It usually ended up in him doing something really mean. But she felt like maybe this time she could trust him. After all, they both hate snails. Hate is a universal feeling, like love. Different people can be easily gathered together if they both hate the same things.

Of course, that usually means they love the same things, too.

Sabrina shuddered. She turned over in her covers, and soon she fell fast asleep.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

"Good morning, Sabrina!" Daphne cheered. "I've mucho great-o news! I think I've solved the mystery! You know that the Lilliputians have been out of jail for quite some time and…"

"That's nice, Daphne," Sabrina interrupted, looking somewhat irritated. The little girl's grin disappeared, replaced with confusion. "Granny Relda will be proud of you. Where's Puck?"

Daphne beamed again. "The first signs of love," she began, her voice monotone, like she was reading out of a book, "are when the two lovers can't seem to cope without their secret crushes being around and…"

"No!" Sabrina yelled. "It's not that at all! I'm just wondering where he is. I want to know whether or not he's planning another prank."

"I wouldn't know," Daphne replied, frowning. "I left before he did. He isn't back yet?"

"Nobody has come in here so far, except for you."

Daphne looked somewhat contemplative. "I don't know where he could be. Maybe you're right. Maybe he is setting up another prank."

She pulled some thick-rimmed black glasses with tape around the middle from her pants pocket and put them on her face. Sabrina stared at her.

"They help me think," Daphne said defensively.

She grabbed her book and left.

Sabrina fell back on the trampoline. It bounced her up and down a couple of times, then went still.

Puck couldn't be planning another trick. He just couldn't.

But, just in case, she could.

Sabrina snuck downstairs and into the kitchen. She had a perfect idea for a trick.

She opened the refrigerator and looked inside it. There she found the irresistably delicious doughnuts Uncle Jake had bought from Briar Rose's earlier in the week. She took them out.

Reaching into her pocket, Sabrina grabbed a hold of a bag full of black colored flakes. Chocolate-flavored X-Lax, designed to look like sprinkles. She giggled and shook a handful onto the pastries.

While putting them back, she also noticed that there was also an unopened can of sausage on the top shelf. Just in case she needed a plan B, she took it and shoved it in her jacket pocket. She closed the door, then sneaked her way back into Puck's room.

Sabrina fell on the trampoline and laughed. Puck would never see that one coming.

...

A blood-curdling scream echoed from downstairs. Sabrina shot up. She must've drifted off to sleep.

Another scream. It sounded a lot like Daphne. She threw back the covers and leaped down from the trampoline.

She ran down the stairs two at a time, as fast as she could possibly go. When she reached the bottom she found Daphne, bent over near the front door. Sabrina's heart was pounding.

"Daphne! Daphne, are you alright?" she yelled.

"No!" Daphne sobbed. The little girl didn't straighten up from where she was.

"What's wrong?"

"Look!" She pointed to something lying on the floor.

A small pixie, no bigger than Sabrina's pinky finger, was lying on the ground. Surrounding it was what appeared to be a puddle of blood.

"I think it's dead!" Daphne wailed.

"Is it Puck's?" Sabrina whispered.

Daphne looked up, tears streaming down her face. "Huh?"

She didn't look at her, though. Instead, she looked out the door, horrified.

"Puck," she whispered.

She bolted, running as fast as she could for the woods.

"Sabrina!"Daphne called. "Sabrina!"

But Sabrina didn't turn. What if Puck was hurt? What if the Scarlet Hand had gotten to him?

Puck would be okay. He had to be okay.

She ran around the house very fast, the wind whipping at her hair. She stumbled and tripped a few times, but always got back up and kept running. Her knees stung, she ignored it. The air flew at her so fast that her eyes stung and began to water. She held her head down and commanded her legs to run faster.

She was soon at the forest. She approached the place Daphne had said was where she and Puck were going to find evidence and looked around cautiously. The boy fairy was nowhere in sight.

Sabrina ran into the forest, further and further. She continued running until she was deep inside, and couldn't see the house anymore. But she could see a mound of trash off in the distance.

Puck's fortress.

She slowed her pace and looked among the garbage. She found banana peels, egg cartons, old sofas cushions, empty chip bags, mutilated wooden soldiers, and something moldy and unrecognizable. She noticed most of the stuff was once food, and half of it still smelled like it. She also saw that there was a little refrigerator box that had a blanket and a pillow inside. There was a sign on the front that read, "DAPHNE."

Sabrina fought back a smile. She backed up into something and turned around.

She screamed.

There, sitting upon his throne, a mischievously demented smile plastered on his chalk-white face, was Puck. His eyes were wide open, gray and clouded over, and they stared blankly at the forest straight ahead. He sat limply in the chair, his arms drooping off the sides. He didn't move.

On his shirt was a blood-red handprint. The paint was still fresh.


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

"Puck!" she screamed. She scrambled and scraped at the trash that led to his throne. Each time she moved one away, another fell in its place. Eventually the throne itself began to fall. It slumped over with the trash, and Puck went with it. Sabrina ran to catch him before he could hit the floor.

He was still warm.

She could hardly see him. Everything was blurry. She wiped the tears from her eyes, but new ones formed in their place. She wasn't even crying silently. It was loud and obnoxious, like the sound an animal makes. She thought about what Puck would say if he heard her crying like that. "What are you blubbering about now, you little…" Even thinking about his rudeness made her cry.

She stared at him. He was so still. She combed his long, shaggy hair away from his face, which was red with a festering poison ivy rash.

She continued to watch at him, then carefully grabbed his shoulders."Puck!" she cried, shaking him lightly, like she would if she was trying to wake him up. "Puck! You can't leave m—us. Who's…who's gonna help me take care of Daphne? You can't go off and die. Granny Relda…left you in charge."

She thought she saw him smile. Great. Now she was hallucinating.

She stopped shaking him, noticing that it was doing no good. She bit her lip and closed his eyes. She choked back another round of tears."Man, you're such a…a stinkpot," she sniffed. "A stinkpot. You know we were even supposed to get ma…never mind, it'll torture you just thinking about it, even if you are dead." Her voice cracked when she said the word 'dead.' "It tortures me, sometimes, too, you know?" She laughed pitifully. "What am I talking to a dead person for?" She sniffed again and wiped her nose on her sleeve. "You never cared even when you were alive, anyway."

She looked down at him again. It was getting darker, and he looked colder. She couldn't just leave him here.

"One more thing, Puck," she whispered. She lifted him up awkwardly and, when he was sitting upright, hugged him as tightly as she could. A billion words rushed into her head at once, an infinite amount of things she wished she would've said to him…but the only one she could think of at the time was, "I…I lo—"

Puck's eyes suddenly shot open, and he pulled away from her. He stuck his tongue out at her, then laughed. "Hah!" he cried. "Even when I'm dead you can't resist me."

"Puck?" Sabrina said, sniffing. She had to be hallucinating. He was dead. She saw him...

"Are you still confused? You sure are slow, Grimm." He pulled chalk out from his pockets. "You wanna look dead, too?"

She sat there silently, putting it all together. Puck had rubbed chalk all over his body. He wasn't breathing on purpose. He had been…acting? This was all just another...prank?

Slowly, anger and fury built up in Sabrina, growing larger and larger. He was still alive? That…that sicko! She could feel her hands balling into tight fists. He had been awake the entire time. And he'd almost heard her tell him…!

Her hands were shaking, she was so angry. She couldn't even hit him.

Sabrina calmly turned around and began walking back toward the house. She said nothing.

"I've won! Wouldn't you say, Grimm?" the fairy boy announced triumphantly, flying just behind her. "I beat you! There's nothing you could do to top that!"He giggled mischievously. "I've never seen you so scared in your life before, either! That was hilarious!"

Sabrina fought the growing urge to tackle him and stuff his fat mouth with sausage.

"How about you just declare your stinkpot-iness? It's not that hard. Just get it over with."

Silence.

"Grimm? I'm waiting."

Sabrina turned around suddenly and faced him. Tears were streaming down her face. She didn't know whether or not they were out of anger or relief.

"You were dead!" she yelled.

"I know. It was really believable, wasn't—"

"I hate you, Puck."

Puck stopped. He lowered himself to the ground. He appeared to be shocked for a second, then forced an unsure smile.

"A Trickster King lives to hear those words," he said.

Sabrina gritted her teeth. "You've gone too far this time!" she screamed. "I wish you really had been dead!"

Puck didn't try to hide anything with a smile this time. He stared at Sabrina, a look of regret clear in his face.

"Sabrina, I'm…"

"Don't talk to me," Sabrina whispered, her voice empty. "Ever again."

She walked back to the house alone.

...

"I think he's going to live!" Daphne cried when Sabrina entered the room.

"Were you in on this, too?"

"In on what?" The little girl was tickling a pixie, who was wrapped up like a mummy. "Gootchie-gootchie-goo!" she giggled.

The pixie gave a muffled groan.

"Puck's…fake death," she said. She heard the front door slam. Puck had returned.

"Puck, can I keep him?" Daphne begged, ignoring Sabrina.

"Do whatever you want," Puck said. Sabrina could hear him walking up the stairs. She never heard his bedroom door slam.

Daphne beamed and squeezed the pixie. "I'm going to name you Bobble!"

The pixie groaned, louder this time.

"Oh, I knew you'd like it!" she exclaimed.

"So you were in on it," Sabrina said.

"In on what?" Daphne cooed.

"Puck's prank!" she yelled.

Her little sister stared at her, stunned. "I wasn't in on any prank, Sabrina. I've been working on the case, remember?"

"But you went with Puck last night!" she fumed. "And the pixie!"

"Bobble," Daphne corrected.

"Whatever!" Sabrina cried.

"Actually, Puck wasn't much help then," Daphne said, placing Bobble back down on the table. "He said he had to work on something more important. And the pixie was my fault. I accidently…stepped on him when I was going to open the door." Her face flushed red, as if she'd done something wrong.

"I didn't mean to."

Sabrina smiled and looked at the pixie. "Okay. Just as long as you weren't involved with that ogre and his sick, demented plans," she said.

"Its okay, Sabrina. Fiancées are only scary for a while," she reassured.

"That pig is not my fiancée!" Sabrina roared.

Daphne giggled. "You cannot deny your destiny, young one."

Sabrina ignored her. "Whatever," she said.

She heard Daphne cooing to Bobble the entire time she stomped up the stairs. She went to Mirror's room and walked over the door that now lay flat on the floor, and it cracked in the middle.

"WHO HAS THE GUTS TO EVEN TRY TO BREAK—"

"Can you be normal, Mirror? Just for a little while?"

Mirror stared at her, surprised. "Are you alright, Starfish?"

Sabrina shook her head. "Just leave me alone," she whispered. She curled up into a tight little ball in the corner of the room, her arms wrapped tightly around her legs. Tears were dried on her face. She was tired of crying.

After a while she began to doze off, her eyelids becoming heavier and heavier. But before she was completely unconscious, though, she thought she heard Mirror whisper, "Don't worry. I'll be normal before you even see it coming, kiddo."

...

Sabrina woke up right as the moon was fully up in the sky. She yawned, stretched, and stood, shaking out her legs, which had gone numb from being folded up for so long. She had to go tell Puck that…

Oh, yeah.

A frown reappeared on her face. She glanced across the room, noticing her sleeping parents in their bed. She had the dying urge to go over to them and vent. She tiptoed over to where they were lying. She had to tell somebody how she felt.

"When you fell in love with Dad, was it easy, Mom?" Sabrina whispered, smoothing back her mother's raven hair. She kissed her once on the forehead, then went around the bed and kissed her Dad on the cheek. They were still as ever, unmoving, unfeeling.

They were lucky.

Sabrina sighed and left the room. She stood in the hallway for a while, just combing her hair back and out of her face, letting herself feel nothing. A shiver ran down her back, and she stuffed both hands in her pockets. Her left hand squished against something, and her face curled up. She pulled out a bag with something brown and squashy down at the bottom and examined it.

It was a bag of sausage.

A sinister smile crept up Sabrina's face. Puck's trick may have been evil, but hers would be eviler still.


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"Oh, God!" Puck screamed at four o'clock in the morning. He stumbled from his room and hit the banister, wheezing. He was clutching his stomach as if in pain. Green fumes emitted from his bedroom. "Dear Mother, what a stench!" he rasped.

Sabrina opened the door to Mirror's room and faced him, index finger pointed in his direction. "Hah!" she cried. "I've won, fartface! Surrender or die!"

Puck glanced back at his room. "That's one nasty death," he commented.

"What's going on up…HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!" Daphne cried. She clenched her nose tightly with her entire fist. "What crawled in Puck's room and died!"

"That…that _thing_—" Puck said, pointing to Sabrina "—did the unspeakable—revolting as a prank, even to the Trickster King!"

Daphne's face curled up in horror. "No! You didn't, did you?"

Sabrina beamed. "Elvis and Sausage. Works every time."

Daphne suddenly frowned, the corners of her mouth bending down so far they were almost in the shape of an upside down 'u.' Her face looked like it was going to pop. "Okay, both of you—OUT," She demanded.

Puck and Sabrina stared at her. "Are you crazy?" they said in unison.

"No, you are!" she yelped. "My nose is crying out for mercy, and you guys think it's _funny?_"

"I don't think it's funny," Puck said.

"I took anti-smell potion," Sabrina piped. The others turned and glared at her.

"And you did this all for a mucho lame-o war!" Daphne cried. She held her breath and marched up the steps, grabbing a hold of both Sabrina and Puck's arms and dragging them downstairs. "Out," she repeated. "You're a…a hazard to the very lives of all who want to live a peaceful life in this house!"

"Stay outside? With him? Are you insane?" Sabrina demanded. "I'd rather die."

"Breathe these gasses for a while and you really will. I'm going to go to Mirror and find another anti-smell potion. You two go sit in the corner of the forest, and think hard—think_ very, very hard—_about the pain in my nose and the terror you've struck into the very heart of an innocent seven-year-old bystander. I'll come to get you in five minutes." Daphne slammed the door in their faces. A muffled, "Oh Lord, have mercy!" followed shortly after the slam.

Sabrina and Puck didn't look at each other, or say anything. They just started walking.

They hadn't been walking long when Puck decided to start talking. "You know, Sabrina, about that one prank…"

"Which one?" Sabrina spat.

Puck grimaced, stumbling for words. "You know…the one where…I…I was…"

"Dead?"

He nodded and swallowed. "I…I…you know, I never meant to…"

"To die?" Sabrina shot back. "You know what, Puck? You never 'mean' to do anything, and that's because you never think. You just act. You never considered how I'd respond to your…death." She glared at the ground, still walking.

"So you'll forgive me?" he said.

"I never said anything about forgiving anybody," Sabrina replied.

"Oh," was all he said.

They continued walking for a while, when what looked like a little firefly darted past their heads.

"Oh, Fearsome," he said, suddenly puffing up his chest in an attempt to look orderly. Sabrina rolled her eyes. "Anything to report?"

The little pixie tittered on in a language Sabrina didn't understand.

Puck suddenly looked shocked. "A mutiny?" He nodded, taking it all in. "I guess that makes since. Good work, Fearsome." He nodded, and the pixie flew off.

"What was that about?" Sabrina asked.

"Your plan was almost perfect, Grimm. Almost."

Sabrina tilted her head to the side. "What do you mean, 'almost'?"

"You forgot one little—but important—thing…"

"What?"

Screeching could be heard from not too far away. "The soldiers!" he cried. "We've got to run!"

"Soldiers?"

Sabrina looked behind her. Little creatures seemed to be approaching them. They were screaming.

"What the…" Sabrina gasped.

Hundreds and hundreds of Puck's pyromaniac chimpanzees were running towards them, army helmets on their heads, glop grenades in their hands. And they didn't look happy.

"They're not too happy about the smell of their home, I assume."

Sabrina screamed.

"Oh, quit the dramatics," Puck muttered. He grabbed Sabrina by the wrist and began dragging her into the forest.

They ran (Puck flew) for a long time, until it was almost pitch black and the trees blended into the sky. They didn't know which way to go. Everything was black on every side. Puck hit a tree for the third time and collapsed.

"We have to face them now," Sabrina said. "There's no choice."

"Meh," Puck groaned.

She stood and stared out into the inky darkness. It was only a matter of time.

Within a few minutes, the shrieks of the furious creatures could be heard. Sabrina saw beady, glowing eyes from behind a set of trees and screamed.

"Thanks for giving us away," Puck muttered.

Hundreds and hundreds of the livid creatures surrounded Sabrina and Puck, their glowing eyes reddening with fury. They howled and screeched, throwing their arms in the air and pounding their hairy chests. Not one of them seemed too happy about the current situation.

"All right! Let's just be calm about this…" Puck began, addressing the crowd.

"Calm!" Sabrina roared. "This is not a calm situation! There's nothing calm about it! Look!" She shook Puck's shoulder furiously and pointed at the growing army of angry creatures. "Do they look calm to you?"

"You need to calm down too, Grimm," Puck muttered, stretching out his shoulder. Sabrina threw him an angry look.

The roars of the sea of animals drowned out all other sounds. In their wrath they had begun picking up rocks and sticks and other various throwable objects and launching them at the two children. Puck pulled out his wooden sword and tried to bat them away, but they were still being hit. A rock smacked against Sabrina's forehead, and when she went to touch it, it stung. She took her fingers away.

Blood.

One of the creatures pulled out a shiny green object. It held it in the air.

The others immediately silenced. Then suddenly, like a wave crashing against the shore, they all began to scream, throwing their arms at the two.

The green thing sailed past them and exploded not too far away. A tree burst into flames. In a matter of seconds, it was devoured by the fire, which had already spread to more trees in the forest.

"Hey!" Puck yelped. "No grenades!"

They couldn't hear him over their furious screeching.

"Can't you just fly us out of here?" Sabrina yelled.

Puck shook his head. "The fire'll spread to the top branches before I get a chance to fly out!"

"Aren't you fast enough to get us out before it spreads?"

"Not when I'm carrying you, tubby."

Sabrina ignored the comment. She stared out at the creatures, whose rage was now beyond control.

"They're going to kill us," she whispered.

"I'm too young to die!" Puck cried.

One of the chimpanzees screeched and reached out at the two. He took a swipe at Puck's legs, but thankfully missed. The chimpanzee (Puck had called him Johnson) grabbed a portion of his pants instead.

A resounding rip echoed through the forest. Sabrina could see that the entire backside of Puck's pants was missing. Underwear painted with little glowing rainbows shown clearly through.

Puck looked behind him and whimpered. "Aw, man!" he cried. "Why's everybody out to get my wardrobe? I know I'm beautiful, people, but still. Vandalism is a crime."

"You're one to talk," Sabrina muttered.

Something that sounded like evil laughter echoed from behind the chimpanzees. Sabrina glared at Puck.

"If this is your idea of a sick joke, I'm not laughing."

Puck's face was red, as only a person's face can get when it has made contact with poison ivy. "I didn't do this," he said. "Although, you're right—it would make a pretty awesomely sick joke."

Sabrina frowned.

Another rock came sailing towards them, and it hit Sabrina squarely in the chest. She doubled over and coughed, the wind knocked out of her.

"Hey!" Puck cried. Something popped, but Sabrina couldn't tell what. "Nobody messes with Grimm but me!"

Sabrina felt something brush past her arm. She looked in front of her. "Puck?" she gasped, standing up. His wings surrounded her, protecting her. He had never looked so determined before in his life. In fact, he had never looked determined before, not once.

"I'm protecting you, stupid. Now shut up."

A stick sliced its way through Puck's wing, creating a small hole. He grimaced.

"Puck! You'll kill your wings!"

"There's something that matters more to me than those wings that could get hurt," Puck replied. Sabrina stared at him, and his face turned a brighter shade of red, as if he had just realized what he'd said.

"Uh…Just shut up, stinkpot," he stuttered. Sabrina couldn't tell whether or not he was talking to her, or to himself.

Another evil laugh emitted from the forest. The chimpanzees cheered, and more grenades flew.

Sabrina watched as a stray grenade blew up near Puck. Another one was sailing right toward his head.

"Watch out!" she screamed, throwing her arms around him and pushing him down just as the grenade exploded right over their heads. The two sat in shock.

Something flashed, and the voice of the occasional wicked chuckles erupted in merciless laughter. "Hahaha!" it cheered. "I won! I won!"

Sabrina quickly released Puck, and he folded his wings back under his shirt faster than he ever had before. Both were blushing beyond recognition.

"I did well, didn't I, Bobble?" it giggled.

The voice stepped out into the light.

It was Daphne, in the forest, with a camera.


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

"You!" Puck cried, pointing at Daphne. "I knew it!"

Daphne just smiled.

"What's going on?" Sabrina demanded.

"Daphne tricked us both," Puck said. "Well, you, mostly."

"No, I fooled you too," Daphne said, giggling. "You just don't want to admit it."

"Huh?" Sabrina said.

"It was all her, stupid," Puck said. "She-"

"Do you remember me telling you that my best friend was Sergeant Sullivan?" Daphne interrupted. She wasn't going to let Puck steal her glory.

"Of the Chimpanzee Pyromaniacs? Sure."

Daphne smiled. "What are pyromaniacs, Sabrina?"

"People who love fire…hey, did you set the trees…"

"Yup," Daphne smiled, interrupting again.

"Like I said, she fooled us," Puck added. "The entire case-thing, too…it was all her."

Daphne nodded. "The perfect di…div…"

"Diversion?" Sabrina muttered.

"Yeah. You guys never suspected it was me, because I was working on it so hard and you weren't. And running into the forest, you two protecting each other…that was all a part of my plan, too. I kept disagreeing with the war, which kept you both very eager to prank. Meanwhile, I got you angry enough at the other person that you both eventually pulled a prank worthy of getting you kicked out of the house."

"After which you'd send your chimps after us," Sabrina added.

Daphne nodded. "Although your Elvis-Sausage prank wasn't the trick I had in mind," she said, crinkling up her nose. "They won't accept him at the Dog Kennel. Now, there's something that needs addressing."

"What?" Sabrina said.

"What were the conditions for someone who wanted to surrender?"

Sabrina let out a flurry of complaints. "Come on!" she cried. Puck was on the verge of tears, his poison ivy rash worse than ever.

"The Lord of all Good-For-Nothings declaring himself as a...a...no, it's forbidden!" he whimpered. "That's not the example I'm supposed to be setting for my followers!"

"I could very easily call the Ferryport Landing press and tell them about a picture proving a new love scandal brewing in—"

"Okay, okay!" Sabrina groaned. She bowed to her little sister, fists clenched at her sides. "I declare my eternal stinkpot-iness."

"Me, too," Puck added, sniffing. Sabrina punched him in the arm. "Ow! Stinkpot! I'm a stinkpot!" he cried.

Before Daphne had a chance to say anything, a sound like thunder interrupted their conversation.

A big, clunky old black car roared its way into the driveway, a giant puff of smoke trailing after it. Granny Relda and Mr. Canis were inside. Their laughter could be heard from where the children were standing.

"Although your proclamation wasn't what I wanted."

Sabrina and Puck stared at her. "It wasn't?" they cried. Sabrina looked angry enough to kill. Puck pulled a tissue out from the pocket of his ruined green hoodie.

"Nope. My main goal was to get you two together. In which I succeeded." She held up the camera and giggled. "See?"

Everything seemed to come together all at once, like the pieces of a puzzle clicking in place. "Give me that!" Sabrina roared, Puck right behind her. She grabbed for the camera, which the little girl was constantly holding out of reach.

"You better burn those negatives, Daphne!" Puck chimed in.

"What negatives?" Granny Relda asked, approaching the group.

Sabrina and Puck stopped tackling Daphne and straightened up. She noticed all the chimps were gone, but didn't say anything about it. "Welcome home, Granny," Sabrina said.

"Yeah, glad to have you back, old lady," Puck added.

"Did you stop the fires?" Mr. Canis grunted.

"You mean that mucho case-o? Hey wait…hee hee. Much cheese," Daphne giggled.

"Yeah! And you'll never believe who it was!" Sabrina yelled. "It was—"

"Puck's monkeys!" Daphne bellowed, recovering suddenly from her fit of laughter. "Puck's monkeys!"

One of the chimps screamed at her from the trees, and she calmly pulled a banana out from her jacket pocket. He calmed down immediately.

"Oh, liebling, how delightful to have that off my back!" Granny Relda praised.

"Argh," Sabrina muttered. "I can't believe she's getting away with it!"

Mr. Canis straightened, not having heard a word Sabrina had said.

"Now, about the green fumes that are coming from the windows and doors—"

"Daphne did it," Sabrina and Puck chimed simultaneously, pointing at the little girl.

"Who, me?" Daphne replied, staring wide-eyed at Granny Relda. "Would I do such a thing?"


	9. Epilogue

Two Days Later

Daphne came home from her secret trip to the 1-hour-photo place sometime around noon and walked up the front steps to their door. She neatly pulled out a key ring, unlocked everything (she had to stand on a garden gnome to reach the top one), knocked once, said "I'm home!" and watched the door creak open.

Before entering the room, she glanced at her newly printed pictures. She smiled gleefully at her success, then stuffed them nonchalantly in the back of her pants.

She entered the house to smell Granny Relda's cooking. Tonight was what appeared to be squid and ice cream soufflé, with cream of ferret soup.

Yum.

She entered the living room to find everything normal—literally.

Sabrina and Puck were fighting, once again.

"That was my card, half-wit!" Puck yelled.

"No! It was rightfully mine, you pusbrain!"

Daphne stared at the two. "What are they doing?" she asked Mr. Canis.

"Playing Dummy Rummy," Mr. Canis replied. "Only Puck seems to be too dumb to understand it."

"Hey!" Puck yelped. "I'm a beginner!"

"A beginner who's never seen cards before in his life," Sabrina muttered.

"Do you want to play 52 card pick up, Grimm?" Puck threatened, flapping his cards around menacingly.

"Only if you want to play 32 teeth pick up," Sabrina replied. She set down a king of hearts. "I'm winning."

Puck groaned.

Daphne laughed and shook her head. Mr. Canis growled.

"I can't stand all this hatred; it's fogging up my thoughts. I think I need to meditate for a while," he snarled, then exited out the front door.

Sighing, Daphne tromped up the stairs and into her bedroom.

She got out some tape and a heavy duty stapler and stood on her bed. She took the picture from her pocket and stapled it to the ceiling, then duct taped it, just to reinforce it in case unwanted peoples (who shall remain nameless) decided to snoop. She then laid down on her bed and quietly stared up at it, thinking.

They really did look cute together. Puck had his slightly damaged translucent wings wrapped around her sister Sabrina, and she had her arms tight around him. They both stared straight ahead, slightly scared but mostly surprised. Puck's face was still blotchy and red in the print, but Daphne was sure that, with some photo shop, she could correct it.

She couldn't wait until they got together when they were older.

A resounding _whack!_ came from downstairs. A voice that sounded an awful lot like Puck's let out a loud cry.

"My beautiful teeth!" he yelped.

"Get over it," Sabrina muttered. "I just did you a favor. Your face looks so much better now."

Daphne giggled. Older and more mature. In Puck's case, _way_ more mature.

She sighed and folded her arms behind her head, gazing wistfully at the picture.

All in time, of course. All in time.


End file.
